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Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town. (It's a song that reminds me of Jasmine.)

            In the beginning we are introduced to Jasmine by an astrologer as a someday widower. When I first read that I was really rather intrigued, and I don’t believe in astrology or fortunes one bit. I’ve always thought of life as you make your own luck, and create your own future. I would never ask anyone of my fate, because to me it all seems so unpredictable.

            But once again, I’m an American who lacks serious spiritual beliefs. I have one God, and He is the only one I pray to. (And I certainly don’t do it as much as I should.) But Jasmine I suppose is someone believing in many spirits and customs I don’t understand. Such as, who else would have believed Jasmine had a third eye out of which she saw an entirely different world? I was never raised or taught to believe such almost fairytale situations, but hey like I said I am a boring American all of the way. (Or so it seems.)

            Then the story continues and Jasmine actually loses the love of her life, which was rather sad. They were married two weeks after they met and it all seemed so romantic. The way they described it seemed to be a real love at first sight kind of love. Which again, I don’t really believe in but there is always the possibility it could actually happen to someone else simply somewhere else.

            I used to call my friend Jason “Jase” all of the time. It was a fun nickname, complete with the Jase the chase catch line. Which is kind of like Jasmine, she always seemed to be on the go. But maybe that is because if I were Jasmine I would have been a widow and kept to myself. But she just kept moving on, into American and into new loves.  Which, I know that Jasmine seems strong but at the same time don’t we all only have one great love? If she is so dependent then I am not sure why she is living with these strange men.

            When my husband dies I won’t fall in love again, or so I don’t plan to. I feel like once you love someone, and it’s real, your heart is never back to give it away again. But maybe she was just lonely and confused, so she wanted to pretend or believe she could love again. I feel like her relationship with Bud may have been just that. It didn’t seem like she really wanted to leave him. Maybe she knew somehow, someway, she needed these men in her life to somehow get back on track.

            I think some of us cope by laughing when we really want to cry. Or going outside when we just want to dwell in our beds. I think we do anything we can just to fight it, because if we don’t fight it we start to lose all feeling. When we lose someone we love it cuts deep. We want to bury ourselves and I guess Jasmine experienced this pain on the inside. Maybe that is why she seems rather complicated to me.

Here are the lyrics to the song by the way:
Here's to the good life or so they say
All those parties and games that all those people play
They tell me this is the place to be
All these beautiful people and nothin' to see

Sometimes I feel like something is gone here
Something is wrong here, I don't belong here
Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town
And I've lost what I found, it'll all turn around

[CHORUS]

In a little while I'll be thinkin' about you
In a little while I'll still be here without you
You never gave me a reason to doubt you
In a little while I'll be thinkin' about you baby...I'll be thinkin' about you baby

On the other side of a coin
There's a face there's a memory somewhere that I can't erase
And there's a place that I find someday
But sometimes I feel like it's slippin' away

Sometimes I feel like something is gone here
Something is wrong here, I don't belong here
Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town
And I've lost what I found, it'll all turn around

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Some things are lost some left behind
Some things are better left for someone else to find
Maybe in time I can finally see
I just wonder, wonder if you think about me

Sometimes I feel like something is gone here
Something is wrong here, I don't belong here
Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town
And I've lost what I found, it'll all turn around

Oh soldier man, what have you done? You protect your country, but you haven't protected me.

            I’m not entirely sure I believe in talking to the dead. In fact, I don’t believe interacting with spirits is truly what was happening here. I believe that all of these random outbursts mother has are memories of past events.

            It could be that I simply don’t believe communicating with the dead is plausible, but I have firm suspicions that the mother was a comfort woman once upon a time and is now engaging in flashbacks from that life. After all, wouldn’t being a comfort women toy with your mind?

            Mother doesn’t have this remarkable gift that people keep mentioning, mother has simply lost her mind. Think about it. You need money and you need it fast, what do you do? Go keep military men company in the time of need? Sure, sounds easy enough. But then you get there and realize you were deceived and taken for a fool. They want more than just the pleasure of your company; they want sex.

            But the money is paying back your debt and helping to support your family, what do you do? Do you swallow your pride and take care of your family? Or do you go home broke, with starving children and empty promises? Chances are you do what you need to do, just as I believe mother did. So she became a comfort woman, complete with a daily sex schedule.

            Yes, a sex schedule assorting the ranks of military men verse the day of the week. Who needs sleep or time to rest? There is money to be made and the war will only last so long. So you go to upscale events and you receive gifts from many men who don’t really care about your well-being.  I’m sure you are meeting all kinds of people, and being treated badly by the worst.

            You are making enough money to get you and your family by, but you are an object and nothing more. When you look at Japanese soldiers and soldiers from your own country you fear them even though they are your people because of what they have allowed you to do.

            It’s years later now, and you have a son. Your son thinks you are crazy, along with everyone else. But you don’t think you are crazy, you have no idea what everyone is talking about. Your friend thinks you are communicating with the dead, but this isn’t something you understand.  You have no idea what she is talking about. You’re just living, with nothing coming in your way.

            Because you have been through a lot and if there is one thing you’ve learned it’s to not stop and take in what’s happening. It’s to keep moving, and slowly but surely let your life float into air. You stop feeling, you stop thinking, and you don’t know who has a hold of you these days.

            Because you were in the war, and just like mama, you lost yourself there.

Camp Notes (And other depressing things.)

Sometimes I won’t eat all day, and still by the end of the day not feel hungry. Sometimes I head off to work or school and wish that life would just stop and give me some time to think about all that has happened. Sometimes I just want to go back to bed, just so I feel a little more peaceful and don’t have to worry so much.
These poems remind me of days like those. I know by no means could my life seemingly compare to the pain and sorrow these people have been through, but if I could imagine their feeling it would be days like those. The days where you could lose your husband, your job, and your kids all at once, and still you would feel nothing because you have to be feeling something to begin with to be impacted by the nothing.
The first sorrow I felt began with Harmony at the Fair Grounds. The lines read, “Lines formed for food// Lines for showers// lines for the john// lines for shots.” Everything needed in life they must wait in line for because they are too imprisoned to have the freedom of not waiting. If they are to wait in line for essentials, what about things deemed non-essential? What must one do for the love of a husband or wife, or child? Is there a line for nurture and love?
I too was intrigued in the Desert Storm poem. I wondered how glamorous, or how at home one must feel with the lines, “This was not// im// prison// ment.// This was// re// location.” I wondered about the hidden meanings inside the lines, what was with the random separations of words? Did they mean for the words prison and location to jump out at me as they did? What did they mean? Were their lives so terrible there that when distinguishing relocation vs imprisonment the difference had to be clarified? Or was there a hint of sarcasm in this author's voice?
Sometimes, I don’t think hope was entirely lost for all. In The Watchtower it was said, “This is what we did with our days.// We loved and we lived// just like people.” What do you know, they are people too, just like the people they are being treated so poorly by. My views on these lines are similar to the P.O.W. poem that says, “My daily routine// of going to the mess hall// has nothing to do with// my appetite.” When saying this I also wonder if they went to the mess hall for the human interaction, or simply because if he fell off routine he would realize how cruel life really was. Maybe going to the mess hall and staying in routine kept his mind away from reality, sadly enough.
I feel so sorry for these writers because I can’t imagine such a world, or at least living in one. I don’t know why at any point in time people should treated less than human because of their heritage. Chinese, Japanese, German, Italian, Scottish, Mexican, African- you are all people to me, no matter how members of the white race has behaved before.

Will everyone someday be free? And not be addressed, recognized, and stereotyped as say an Jap? Just saying, when does it end?

Bring Freedom forward. (I envy this photographer.)

Oh Rico Suave, you just aren't the one for me. (And I'm white.)

It is almost as if Rico’s character was supposed to impress me significantly throughout the story. The way he is described makes me feel as if I too, should envy him. We begin the chapter by reading, “When I was growing up Rico Divina was the baddest Filipino I ever knew, and I knew them all” (page 18). But I suppose bad means something different to the narrator than it does me. Perhaps to the narrator to be the baddest is to be the best, whereas I am not sure I would ever dance a tune with that pink shirted fellow.
Rico reminds me of that super popular boy in high school who may be all that in one small town, but everyone knows in another town he has nothing and never ever will. To be envied and desired in society we don’t look to people who aren’t going to college and aren’t very bright. When you tell someone you are going to be doing some sort of petty line of work such as being a manager at a restaurant, their initial response will be that you didn’t go to college, and so you probably aren’t that bright. We had kids like Rico at my high school and now they are off in California living freely so we envy them, but not living with the same opportunities we have access to so we pity them. Rico is the difference between an accountant, and a man who flips burgers. We don’t tell people like Rico that they are nobodies, because I don’t think many of us understand them well.
Rico may not be joining the Marines because that is what makes him happy, but I think he is doing it because he is better at working than learning how to work. I don’t believe Rico would have the time, patience, or work ethic to go to college. I believe he is living life looking for that instant gratification as opposed to spending years preparing for it. I, myself, am afraid to be like Rico because I am afraid of trusting myself more than I do a diploma. I’m afraid of dropping everything that makes me worth something to society to live freely and be happy. I don’t want to fail anyone, so I am not in California and not headed there. I am instead in Oxford, a town I mostly hate, going to college at the Miami University, the supposed Harvard of the West.
The narrator said in the chapter, “But it was Rico’s show, and he was its dark star” (page 19). I think this is the best way to describe Rico, honestly. Rico is the dark star opposed to the light star, and Rico was living life as if it were a game or a simple tv show as opposed to it actually being as serious as life. Rico is the dark star on his own show because he is what represents the impureness in the world, the impractical, tainted, and sinful. Rico is the guy sleeping with as many girls as possible, not being a gentleman, fighting in rings, not going to college, and being too afraid to show emotion. Rico isn’t the person you want to represent your country or your family, because he isn’t a white star. He is the guy living his own life, unwilling to compromise it with the world.

Rico reminds me of like these T-Birds. The smoking, sexual gestures, skimpy/ revealing clothing, etc make them dark stars. Ps I really want to go buy the Grease movies now.


Oh and I know they are just movies, but for those of you who seem to believe Rico had no option of being more like Buddy consider these movies, because chances are just because they are only movies doesn't mean these situations have never been in existence.

Two Hearts, One Homebase.♥

I’m a sucker for love stories and hopeless romantics. Needless to say, the mother and father in “Homebase,” caught my direct attention with every letter, every heart, and every darling throughout the text. While reading “Homebase,” I couldn’t stop hoping for another ‘I miss you, I’m lonely without you,’ type of dialogue. I found the way the husband spoke to his wife or about his wife to be so breathe-taking, so passionate, and so heartfelt that I wanted a book focused primarily on their love story alone. It was all so beautifully written that I even bent a few pages so I would have no problem going back to read them again.
In the beginning we read, “A few months after they were married, my mother received a letter from her father telling her that China was closed to her” (page 10). I read that and thought how sweet a love could be to choose love over one’s family. As the novel continues the father/ husband explains a vision he had about hawks tearing apart his beloved. He said, ‘The hawks that tear our flesh are disturbed by the perfect day, the pure sun that warms the wounds, I am singing and they cannot tear us apart’ (page 14). I couldn’t believe a man could write this, or feel so strongly about a woman he loved. What he is saying here is that no matter what comes their way, their love will rise above. He’s saying that their love is stronger than cruelty of the cold, the hawks, and all else. It makes me very joyful to know the husband doesn’t lose faith in his love.
Throughout the novel the husband proves himself to be a genuine sweet guy and kudos for that. It’s really pleasant to have a man not afraid to share his heart, especially seeing that in today’s time a man is mostly far too egotistic to go that far. The father/ husband had also said, “The earth went around before my eyes. I could feel it. I saw the jupiter… The jupiter was a vision of the heart, it was one man’s love” (page 18). I read that and thought it was magical I wanted to be the wife if only for a second in time. Here this man was comparing a planet to love, as if without doubt love could be that powerful. I was really impressed by those lines, I wish a guy would say that to me.
The husband didn’t stand out to me most because of his wild tales of going through caves or the making of railroad tracks. I was really taken to the part of the husband who was a lover, and lonely without his wife. I think that the husband and wife’s story would make for an amazing book alone, the story of two people staying together though world’s apart. Tell me that isn’t hopeless romance? I love to read love stories, and perhaps that is why the husband stood out to me the most.


This clip reminds me of the two lovers from "Homebase." From two different worlds, torn apart, love through letters... ya know, hopeless romance kind of deal.

Alright the love for TV dinners was hysterical but I adore Grandma.

When I first started reading grandma’s story, or I should say her view of things I was a bit concerned. To be honest I was a bit concerned about the dialogue being used. Maybe it is just me, but although I was reading the text silently to myself I could hear an Asian voice speaking the English words. At first I thought I was going to have to reread the text multiple times to decide what was going on or what grandma meant to say. The way the words flowed together was a sure sign this was not someone who knew english like the palm or her hand. But next thing you know, I couldn’t put the book down and am dead set on not only finishing the book but also keeping it.
I don’t know what the transition was but I had no problem following along to grandma’s voice and I thoroughly enjoyed her voice in fact. I loved the way the simple words of her story indirectly opened up her world to me. I felt through her context alone I was gaining personal knowledge of who this lady was and that is something I really enjoy about reading. I love getting lost in a book and reading as though I am going through someone’s diary. I love being introduced to a new world, and therefore I loved grandma’s character most. In fact, oddly enough, I had a more difficult time following, “Cold- hearted,” than I did this. I love grandma’s story and didn’t really connect much with the steak guy.
Grandma’s voice was so honest it was welcoming, despite the bluntness she offered. But I never looked down upon grandma, even when Grandma admitted, “Now I know why the Chinese beat the Irish” (page 175). When I read that I didn’t think grandma was rude and bitter or not very open- minded. I read that and was absolutely fascinated with her ability to tell me who she was without being afraid that I wouldn’t like her. Or when grandma spanked Sophie for misbehaving, even after Sophie’s parents said no, and then didn’t lie but was very deceitful about how she got Sophie to listen. Grandma was very sneaky in hiding the spanking when she replied, “After twenty- eight years experience with you, I guess I learn something” (page 182). If grandma were someone else, anyone else, I would have been highly disappointed in the lack of truth.
But it was grandma, and I believe grandma knows best. Grandma offered me information about her culture and what they believe in. Everything she said seemed to have an indirect statement attached. Such as her commenting on the husband having issues not working, but also issues when he was working. It was as if she were trying to convince me the husband was just a whiney Irish brat, without directly mentioning it. I’m a firm believer in keeping family traditions alive, even if they are no longer deemed acceptable. I felt as if grandma was trying very hard to keep their Chinese heritage alive, and I really admire and respect that. Especially because I also felt as though grandma were trying to understand the Irish family as well. I’m sure grandma didn’t like having to compromise her family’s background but I suppose the bittersweetness of it all is that she did it for the love of her daughter, and I really love that ending.



Here is a video I thought could represent a view on the difference of relationships between parents and their kids vs the culture. Also, forgive me, and no offense to anyone, but I laughed a bit during this clip.

The Magical Monkey King from "American Born Chinese."

In the beginning on the story we are introduced to a character that is referred to as, “The Magical Monkey King.” With the story beginning the Monkey King’s introduction with, “When his eyes first opened they flashed rays of light into the sky,” and then going on to say, “All of Heaven took notice,” I had the feeling this particular monkey was going to be god- like in the sense he was going to for example be a monkey who had complete power over all humans. A monkey having complete power of humans would be the ultimate whoa god-like scenario I had imagined upon first reading this. However as the story goes on I learn that while this monkey is a king and practices the four disciplines, there was really nothing unexpected from him. He was a king over monkeys who liked food and knew Kung- Fu, which to me seemed like an expected obvious role for a monkey to play. “The Jungle Book,” and “Tarzan,” are the kind of stories I believe deserve introductions with such opening descriptions of the characters.
As a side note, the thing I enjoyed most about this reading was that for a brief time I had no idea the three stories were interlocked, which I thoroughly enjoyed because it wasn’t obvious until it was directly shown. Going on to the second portion of the story what first comes to mind are the transformer toys, the Chinese Herbalist and her creepy words, and the Asians being friends. I thought the Monkey King was rather clever in his transformer toy symbolism, because the monkeys switch their outer appearance to better suit the world they wish to be a part of. I really enjoyed the symbolism there, because like I said I had no idea the three stories were interlocked so it was a pretty special surprise to think back and realize the connection. The creepy thing the Herbalist said that really seemed so out there to me that I knew it had to have a major point was the comment, “It’s easy to become anything you wish… so long as you’re willing to forfeit your soul.”
After reading that I was creeped out a bit, and looking back I wonder if maybe that was the Monkey King transformed into another character simply trying to pressure or assure his son, through his son’s only friend, into following in his footprints. I also find it rather interesting that not only was there the whole transformer symbolism with the toy, but that toy was the only reason the two boys became friends. So I am thinking maybe, just maybe, this powerful monkey must have seriously had a knack for seeing the future, or at least up to a certain extent. I’m considering the fact that if the kids hadn’t become friends then the father would never have been able to somewhat stay in contact with his son, his only contact being through his son’s friend.
In the final portion of the story I kind of enjoyed the Monkey King’s sense of humor. He was providing a really stereotypical cousin of Asian descent. The monkey was making comments while still in human form such as, “Such pletty amellican girl wiff bountiful amellican bosom! Must bind feet and bear chinkee’s children!” I admit my family is Filipino, but I know almost nothing of the Asian culture. My idea of the Asian culture would be similar to that statement in the idea that I believe men and women marry without necessarily being in love, and that they may even marry simply for children so that children could help support the family, or to keep the family name growing, etc. I also found humor in the whole dancing in what appeared to be the library, singing the “She bang,” song most of us recall from popular tv show American Idol. Overall, the whole text of the Monkey King while being transformed as the cousin was rather stereotypical and therefore in a sense a bit humorous.


Does the fact that this car transforms into an exotic dancer make us like it any more?

5 Things About Myself, enjoy!:)

3) Jodi Picoult is my current addiction.

1) I am currently watching Stardust for the second time today.

2) I love, love, love lime flavored popcorn

4) I'm a huge fan of dogs, I want three.

5) My denim jacket is wonderful always.